Some tips to help someone who’s grieving
“I thought they were my friends”, she said. “But since the funeral they haven’t been in touch”. This person felt bewildered and couldn’t understand why her friends weren’t there for her in her time of need. Several others have told me this has also happened to them. C.S. Lewis wrote after the death of his wife, “An odd by-product of my loss is that I'm aware of being an embarrassment to everyone I meet” (A Grief Observed).
Last month I gave a few tips of how to help someone who is grieving, here are some more:
· Do keep in touch and make yourself available; keep phoning especially as weeks turn into months and years.
· Do listen – listening can be more important than what you say. Often a grieving person just needs to be heard.
· Do continue to talk about everyday things that matter as well. When a person loses someone close it doesn’t mean they lose interest in you and what is going on in life. But ‘small talk’ can seem very trivial!
· Do remember appearances can be deceptive. On the surface they may look good, but they could be falling apart inside.
· Do remember there is no time limit on grief. Don’t expect your grieving friend to be over it- no matter how long ago the loss was. It is important to remember that some losses are so great we never get over them. But life can adjust around the grief. Grief is a process, and we all grieve uniquely and at different paces.
An old friend died recently, and we read these words together during my visit to the hospital: “The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul…Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me” (Psalm 23). Jesus is called the Good Shepherd because his comfort and care are there for all, especially in times of bereavement. To find out information about the next Bereavement Journey course running at Leighton Buzzard library cntact Colin www.lifeofhope.online/contact
